Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A thought and a prayer.

It's Rowan's nap time, but before I take my giant belly on over to the couch for a much-needed nap, I wanted to post something that I was thinking about yesterday.

Yesterday was a bad day. Plain and simple. One of those really cruddy days where you have a ton of stuff to do but no time to do it and all you want is a nap; or you have a billion things that need to be printed and your printer breaks in 5 different ways (including telling you it has a broken pipe....what the heck does that even mean?? Who put a pipe in my printer?); or no matter how hard you try to keep him entertained, a certain little man is not satisfied unless you are either sitting on the floor with him or holding him; unless you want to change his diaper then he kicks you and tries to crawl away. It's especially epic when all of these things are happening at once. You know...."those days." Regardless of what form they take on for you, you all know what kind of days I'm talking about.

Yesterday was my day. John came home and tried to rescue me by picking up after hurricane Rowan, and I ran out of the house crying all the way to Bible study. This I blame on our second child wreaking havoc on my emotions before she has even made her oxygenated debut.

We had gotten a babysitter until 8:30 last night so that I could go to Bible study and John could go to his flag football game. Needless to say, when Bible study ended at 7:30 I took it as a free gift from God to go spend some much-needed time with Him. So, off to PJ's coffee I went. And here is what came to me when I got there.

It is very difficult for me to get time with God at home. I don't just mean open-my-Bible-and-read-a-few-verses time. That I can manage. I mean sit down, focus my mind on enjoying Him, pour out my heart and really listen time. Even if I wait for Rowan's naps, I can't stop my mind from going to all the things that need to be done around the house. Something needs to be cleaned, or organized, or made ready for when Rowan wakes up, or for when his little sister gets here. Something needs to be cooked, or thawed. There's a list that needs to be made. Prayer letters need to be written, emails sent and students encouraged. Friends need to be caught up with, Bible studies need to be made, and events need to be planned. Even when I have time, I don't FEEL like I have time.

So how can I get the totally relaxed, 100% focused, coffee-shop-feel, time in Word without having to sneak an extra hour here and there when we happen to have a babysitter? Is it even possible? Am I destined to a life of falling asleep on top of my Bible, while I'm mentally making to-do lists and listening for the baby? I'm praying for help with this. Maybe it's just the season that I'm in.

There's definitely a life lesson in here somewhere. Now all I have to do is figure it out and learn it.

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